It's okay not to know. You're young—you've got plenty of time to figure things out. I only have as much of an idea about myself as I do because I've had more time to think about it, and a lot of help along the way.
... Like I told you back in the sim room, when I was fighting against my memory of Kiryu-san... if it hadn't been for him stopping me from going down a dark path a couple years ago, who knows. I sure as hell don't. I just know that I wouldn't know who I'd be now.
All you gotta do is keep going. Keep going so you can see who you'll become tomorrow, and the day after, and everything after that.
I know. [her voice is a little like, tight - she's not crying but it sounds like she's maybe holding it back.]
... All I've wanted for years is to be free. To wake up in the morning and know that I could make whatever choices I wanted. It took... it took something drastic for me to try to claw my to something I could call my own. I was willing to do anything for it. I still am.
[a beat, and she finally just looks down.]
... I couldn't vote for someone who wanted to live on her own terms so badly that she was willing to take her own life to seize control.
[it hit really close to home, her friendships aside.]
. . . Did you vote for Brad too, then? 'Cause I was the exact same.
I couldn't just sit by to watch her kill herself, of course, but... I respected how far she was willing to go to fight for that right. Because you're right. We should all have that freedom.
... [ gently takes her hand, properly this time, unlike me not realizing all of hers were occupied earlier and she doesn't have an aki number of hands to hold ]
As long as you have something that drives you, that keeps you going... you can come back from anything. I believe in you, Necchan. Someone who's given up doesn't say stuff like you just did, heh.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
... Like I told you back in the sim room, when I was fighting against my memory of Kiryu-san... if it hadn't been for him stopping me from going down a dark path a couple years ago, who knows. I sure as hell don't. I just know that I wouldn't know who I'd be now.
All you gotta do is keep going. Keep going so you can see who you'll become tomorrow, and the day after, and everything after that.
no subject
The dawn is always coming. [she agrees, exhaustedly. just. a long pause, and she rubs at her face a little.]
I've just been going for a long time. I'd like a second to breathe.
no subject
no subject
... All I've wanted for years is to be free. To wake up in the morning and know that I could make whatever choices I wanted. It took... it took something drastic for me to try to claw my to something I could call my own. I was willing to do anything for it. I still am.
[a beat, and she finally just looks down.]
... I couldn't vote for someone who wanted to live on her own terms so badly that she was willing to take her own life to seize control.
[it hit really close to home, her friendships aside.]
no subject
I couldn't just sit by to watch her kill herself, of course, but... I respected how far she was willing to go to fight for that right. Because you're right. We should all have that freedom.
no subject
She's a brave woman. She never asks for anything. But I couldn't give her that.
no subject
no subject
she lets him take her hand, though, and looks back up at the stars, with that same sort of exhaustion.]
no subject
As long as you have something that drives you, that keeps you going... you can come back from anything. I believe in you, Necchan. Someone who's given up doesn't say stuff like you just did, heh.
no subject
I know. Thank you. [but she doesn't say anything else, just looks up at the stars with a distant look.]