[wehhhhh thank you ichiban. she's got a black eye, 100%, because baiken punches like a truck. he can give her a piggyback ride, which she is Barely Tolerating, like a cat.]
... I appreciate it, but I don't want you to get hurt. Which I'm sure I've mentioned.
[ he just repositions her a lil bit, adjusts the way he holds her ever so slightly to jostle her just enough to be playful and admonishing.
fast forward to the medbay, where he's in the middle of grabbing some healing gel when a rift opens and drags them into a memory (cw gun, attempted suicide, murder). though he had let her back down to tend to her injury, he instantly holds his arm out again as their surroundings shift.
it's cold, the night air nipping at whatever bare skin it can get to. (if throné sticks close to ichiban, his natural body heat helps make things a little more tolerable.) though the sounds of street traffic and christmas jingles can be heard far off in the distance, it's hard to focus on anything but the two men in front of these coin lockers. the pop of the gun shooting rounds into the concrete, the pound of the other man's fist against the stiff and unbending metal, the absolute anguish in the memory ichiban's voice as he pleads to his brother, the click of the safety latching back in place...
... the sliding of the knife into ryo aoki's abdomen.
the memory begins to fade away as ichiban's brother slumps to the ground, whispering something meant only for ichiban's ears. all that's left is a ringing silence as present ichiban watches his past self try to save the man once known as masato arakawa from growing as cold as the winter chill. ]
that's the emotion. it's a lot to watch, and it makes her heart ache - my brother, he says, and she doesn't cry because she isn't really the type to, but. it's close. the emotions there... temenos wouldn't do this, but she can very much imagine how she'd feel if he did.
but. she can imagine temenos dying. she's done that plenty. and watching the grief, the horrible way it bubbles up - when she comes out of the memory to see ichiban frozen, her voice doesn't come.
instead, she frowns, and rests her hand on the side of his cheek. that seems to work okay, when she can't find the words. she's realizing it more and more.]
[ it isn't until he feels throné's hand on his face that he realizes he's crying in the wake of the memory. he barks out a little laugh, bringing his arm up to wipe away the tears—a tiny part of him muses "oh cool the tear ducts on that side still work" before the thought is just as quickly swept away again—and focus on his breathing. a deep inhale. a steady exhale.
"live, ichi."
once he thinks he has his emotions under control again, he gives throné a smile. ]
That... was a lot, huh? Haha... can't believe it's been four years since then. Man. Time sure flies...
[she watches him as he pulls away - she wipes a bit of his tears away before she lets go - and eases back against the wall. she doesn't seem put off or anything by the memory - just concerned about him.]
It was intense. [she murmurs, but:] ... I'm sorry. Four years isn't all that long at all.
He had his whole life ahead of him, you know? He was gonna get clean, and I was gonna be there, right by his side, to help him start over...
[ ...one more sniffle before he turns to look at her, smile growing brighter even in spite of his words and the sentiment they impart. ]
... That's why I don't ever let life get me down, no matter what. I'm not just living for myself—I'm living for the young master, for my old man, for everyone I've met who isn't here anymore. [ he brings his hand to his heart, thumping it once. ] They all live on through me. So I don't half ass anything!
[man, there's just really that indomitable spirit he's got, huh. she doesn't know how to be this way - she's stubborn, she's determined, but all of her actions carry such a melancholy to them that this sort of drive is foreign to her.
it isn't unwelcome, though.]
Hah. [she says, with a little smile.] I like that. I don't know that it's possible, but I'd like to be like that, at least a little.
[ oh, this is a lot in return. just as throné had silently witnessed one of his darkest moments, he too simply listens to the conversation between her and her so-called father with bated breath. and, when it ends... ]
she glances at him with a wry little smile, from where she's got her face in her hands. she's a bit pale, and she keeps fiddling with the collar around her neck, but. it's alright.]
Not such a terrible thing. [...] He's dead. So nobody will ever have to experience him again.
[it's funny, she's taught him to ask first and he's teaching her that it's okay to enjoy hugs. carefully, she scoots a little closer, and rests her head on his shoulder.]
[ when she comes close, he wraps his arms around her and nestles a gentle hand at her back. like previously mentioned, he's very warm, but not unpleasantly so—he's basically just a big space heater. ]
You know he was full of shit, right? No matter what he said, he's not your father—genetics don't mean a damn thing.
[ ... to that, he has no witty remarks, no stupid banter. all he can do is hold her, stay here with her until she's ready to let go. ]
I'm not gonna tell you what's right or wrong. It's not my place to say, especially since I didn't know the you from back then, and I don't know what was going on for you to have made that decision. But... what I can say is that I'm here for the you that's here now. Your past doesn't need to make you who you are today.
[bro your fucking partitio vibes are intense she can't stand this
your past doesn't need to make you who you are today. that hits her in a very sensitive, very painful place, and she breathes in shakily and closes her eyes for a second.]
... Okay.
[no, she... she knows. she knows that, it's just... nice to hear it from someone else. from someone who has likely done horrible things, too.]
I don't... I don't want to hurt anybody anymore. I don't want to kill people. When I go back, when my collar is off - I won't.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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... I appreciate it, but I don't want you to get hurt. Which I'm sure I've mentioned.
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I can take a punch a hell of a lot better than you can, on account of the super thick head and all. Besides, you think I like seeing you get hurt?
[ nyeh!!! ]
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I would prefer neither of us get hurt. [NYEH] It doesn't matter. She'll live, and so will I.
cw gun, attempted suicide, murder
fast forward to the medbay, where he's in the middle of grabbing some healing gel when a rift opens and drags them into a memory (cw gun, attempted suicide, murder). though he had let her back down to tend to her injury, he instantly holds his arm out again as their surroundings shift.
it's cold, the night air nipping at whatever bare skin it can get to. (if throné sticks close to ichiban, his natural body heat helps make things a little more tolerable.) though the sounds of street traffic and christmas jingles can be heard far off in the distance, it's hard to focus on anything but the two men in front of these coin lockers. the pop of the gun shooting rounds into the concrete, the pound of the other man's fist against the stiff and unbending metal, the absolute anguish in the memory ichiban's voice as he pleads to his brother, the click of the safety latching back in place...
... the sliding of the knife into ryo aoki's abdomen.
the memory begins to fade away as ichiban's brother slumps to the ground, whispering something meant only for ichiban's ears. all that's left is a ringing silence as present ichiban watches his past self try to save the man once known as masato arakawa from growing as cold as the winter chill. ]
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that's the emotion. it's a lot to watch, and it makes her heart ache - my brother, he says, and she doesn't cry because she isn't really the type to, but. it's close. the emotions there... temenos wouldn't do this, but she can very much imagine how she'd feel if he did.
but. she can imagine temenos dying. she's done that plenty. and watching the grief, the horrible way it bubbles up - when she comes out of the memory to see ichiban frozen, her voice doesn't come.
instead, she frowns, and rests her hand on the side of his cheek. that seems to work okay, when she can't find the words. she's realizing it more and more.]
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"live, ichi."
once he thinks he has his emotions under control again, he gives throné a smile. ]
That... was a lot, huh? Haha... can't believe it's been four years since then. Man. Time sure flies...
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It was intense. [she murmurs, but:] ... I'm sorry. Four years isn't all that long at all.
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[ ...one more sniffle before he turns to look at her, smile growing brighter even in spite of his words and the sentiment they impart. ]
... That's why I don't ever let life get me down, no matter what. I'm not just living for myself—I'm living for the young master, for my old man, for everyone I've met who isn't here anymore. [ he brings his hand to his heart, thumping it once. ] They all live on through me. So I don't half ass anything!
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it isn't unwelcome, though.]
Hah. [she says, with a little smile.] I like that. I don't know that it's possible, but I'd like to be like that, at least a little.
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[well, that's awesome, because it triggers a memory in response! watch until the battle starts.]
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. . . Hey, Necchan?
Fuck that guy.
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she kind of just - laughs, when he says that, hoarse. but.]
... I think there should be less of that happening to him. [don't joke] But... yes.
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See, what'd I tell you? I'm already infecting you.
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she glances at him with a wry little smile, from where she's got her face in her hands. she's a bit pale, and she keeps fiddling with the collar around her neck, but. it's alright.]
Not such a terrible thing. [...] He's dead. So nobody will ever have to experience him again.
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[ he keeps his eyes trained on her for just a little longer before he pushes himself up and opens his arms for a hug. bring it in necchan. ]
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You know he was full of shit, right? No matter what he said, he's not your father—genetics don't mean a damn thing.
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... I know. [she exhales slow.] I've never... the only man who was ever close to that, I killed too.
[but. it still aches to think that she methodically made her way through her family, killed them one by one, to get what she wanted.]
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I'm not gonna tell you what's right or wrong. It's not my place to say, especially since I didn't know the you from back then, and I don't know what was going on for you to have made that decision. But... what I can say is that I'm here for the you that's here now. Your past doesn't need to make you who you are today.
Okay?
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your past doesn't need to make you who you are today. that hits her in a very sensitive, very painful place, and she breathes in shakily and closes her eyes for a second.]
... Okay.
[no, she... she knows. she knows that, it's just... nice to hear it from someone else. from someone who has likely done horrible things, too.]
I don't... I don't want to hurt anybody anymore. I don't want to kill people. When I go back, when my collar is off - I won't.
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[ he pulls back a bit, just enough to be able to look at her head on. ]
Promise?
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... Promise.
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