[ here we are at titan's call, as promised! we can say they've been here a bit, just shooting the breeze until totty is off his shits enough to follow up on their conversation from saturday— ]
So... about your nips.
[ HAPPY WEEK SIX, ERIC ]
i'm. stares at hands. I GUESS ABUSE AND MUTILATION CW BUT IT'S JUST DARK SLAPSTICK CARTOON HUMOR
[ blinks for a second and looks down at his chest like, are they SHOWING?? before he remembers ]
Ohhhh, right, right!!
[ takes another big drink that he really doesn't need at this point and sets the glass back down on the counter a little too hard ]
Okay, so. Our parents were suuuuper pissed at all of us and were doing this fucked up thing where, like— they wanted us to guess why they were mad and tell them what we were going to do to fix it, so they had us all lined up and they'd call on us one at a time to answer while Mom looked all threatening with this butcher knife. And if you didn't give a satisfactory answer, she'd just—
[ limp-wristed slicing motion ]
Cut 'em off right through your shirt! Like— totally messed up, right?
[ he is saying this so casually ]
Anyway, I was the fifth one that got called on, so by the time it got to me and they asked me what kind of job I was going to go out and get that day, I was just like, NOPE, fuck that, I'm not playing along with this shit!
Soooo I just said I wasn't gonna, and tore 'em off myself before she could do it to me!
[ HELP I MUST HAVE BLOCKED OUT THE MEMORY OF THIS BECAUSE I WAS JUST LIKE "???????????? OK OSOMATSU-SAN GO OFF" ]
Dude, I was literally in the yakuza and that's way more fucked up than anything I ever had to deal with. Like, sure, gag anime, whatever—still, what the shit?!
Anyway, after that we went out and got drunk off our asses and I had the brilliant idea that we could make money streaming on Yo*tube so we wouldn't have to get real jobs, and we posted this video of us all being drunk jackasses wearing nothing but nipple bandaids.
...It got reported and taken down almost immediately, though. Which in retrospect was probably for the best.
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w6, monday
So... about your nips.
[ HAPPY WEEK SIX, ERIC ]
i'm. stares at hands. I GUESS ABUSE AND MUTILATION CW BUT IT'S JUST DARK SLAPSTICK CARTOON HUMOR
Ohhhh, right, right!!
[ takes another big drink that he really doesn't need at this point and sets the glass back down on the counter a little too hard ]
Okay, so. Our parents were suuuuper pissed at all of us and were doing this fucked up thing where, like— they wanted us to guess why they were mad and tell them what we were going to do to fix it, so they had us all lined up and they'd call on us one at a time to answer while Mom looked all threatening with this butcher knife. And if you didn't give a satisfactory answer, she'd just—
[ limp-wristed slicing motion ]
Cut 'em off right through your shirt! Like— totally messed up, right?
[ he is saying this so casually ]
Anyway, I was the fifth one that got called on, so by the time it got to me and they asked me what kind of job I was going to go out and get that day, I was just like, NOPE, fuck that, I'm not playing along with this shit!
Soooo I just said I wasn't gonna, and tore 'em off myself before she could do it to me!
[ takes another drink! ]
no subject
Dude, I was literally in the yakuza and that's way more fucked up than anything I ever had to deal with. Like, sure, gag anime, whatever—still, what the shit?!
no subject
[ he's still so blasé about this. ]
Anyway, after that we went out and got drunk off our asses and I had the brilliant idea that we could make money streaming on Yo*tube so we wouldn't have to get real jobs, and we posted this video of us all being drunk jackasses wearing nothing but nipple bandaids.
...It got reported and taken down almost immediately, though. Which in retrospect was probably for the best.